Settling

Unpacking, organizing, teaching new boundaries and expectations to the kids- these activities have consumed my days. So far, only 3 days in, I think I'm surprised by how little the two families see each other. We have quick passing conversations, but really any extended time we've had together hasn't been much more than what we were already intentionally doing before the move.

It has made me think about how we, as suburban Americans, normally just aren't very efficient with the space we have in our homes. We use our bedrooms only for sleeping. We have "guest rooms" that are empty 11 months of the year. We insist on having 1/2 acre lots for our homes to make room for storage barns and extra garages for unnecessary extra stuff when a well organized closet or attic space would work just as well. Personally, I haven't felt crowded or claustrophobic at all, and this house is the same size as many others that only house one family.

A definite advantage, it has been so nice to have four adults to help with things instead of just 2. Four adults means half the yard work, half the cleaning, and half of the responsibility of maintaining a home. And, we all know that mundane chores like dishes and meals are just more fun when you can do them with someone. Eric and Tom are going to rebuild the play-set one of these days, a miserable task alone but kind of fun with a friend. Cassie and I are going to work on menu planning for dinners and financial stuff tonight; normally a task I would be dreading, but not so bad because we're doing it together. So, that's life so far from my perspective.

And, Miss Lottie might have sharper claws, but Harley is definitely louder. He is adjusting in his own I-have-short-dog's-disease-and-I-bark-at-everything kind of way.

Change upon change

We're finally in the house. It still seems unreal to me. Tom and I have been talking about how much change we've been in through the past weeks - the death of his father, the change in my job, a new interim pastor at church, the end of his job with the move, a new house, a new way of living... I think we are both just on auto pilot at the moment. When I do stop and soak in the emotion rolling inside, I'm struck by how they conflict with each other. Excitement contrasted with fear. Generosity pitted against the need to protect my stuff. A want to serve my house mates at a stand off with the urge to hide in my bedroom.

On a lighter note my cat Lottie, named after a great missionary, has done some exploring of her own. Tonight she managed to get locked in a cabinet, stuck in a reclining chair in Eric and Erin's bedroom, and corned under the boys' bunk bed. She seems excited at the prospect of hunting the Crisp's dog,Harley, and takes every chance to face him down. So far Harley has won each battle, but he better beware. Lottie is sly and fully clawed.

Wallpaper

Stripping wallpaper sucks the life out of you. Soaking, scrubbing, rubbing, ripping, cajoling each tiny piece of adhesive, scraping the fibers of life from your being. Be aware of the following suggestions:

1) Hey, let's just put this border right on the dry wall without painting the wall first. Surely no one will ever want to take it down.
2) Hey, let's just paint right over the top of this portion of the border. I bet no one will ever notice.
3) I've got an idea, let's put this wooden chair rail up on top of the border. That way it will never come off.
4) Let's find the ugliest prints of pastel flowers and fruit we can buy; I bet it will really brighten up this tiny bathroom space.
5) I don't really like that old border; let's just put a new border on top of it.

6) Hmmm, instead of washing the walls, let's just cover up the dirt with wallpaper.
7) Oooo, instead of cutting around the window trim with the border, let's just paper right over top of it. That way the window trim will bled in with the wall. Yeah!

Take the wall paper away from the crazy people and RUN in the other direction!

Just an update...IT'S OFFICIAL!!

I'm sure someone else in the house will write something more eloquent later but I just wanted to give anyone reading an update.

• 10am: Eric and Erin close on their house and are "officially" homeless.
• 1pm: Tom, Cassie, Erin and Eric close on the NEW HOUSE!! (Eric and Erin have a place to live again)
  
• Erin and Cassie have been cleaning this evening at the new house while Tom and Eric have been taking apart the boy's play set.
• Friday: Cleaning and painting
• Saturday: The BIG MOVE IN!
• Sunday: Clean old house
• Monday: Hope the dust has settled

Thanks to everyone praying for us and thanks in advance to all of those helping with the upcoming move. What an exciting weekend!!!

Logistics

So for the purpose of record keeping and being transparent with our journey, I'll share about our meeting tonight. We are now less than a week from move in day, and we met together tonight to share concerns, fears, and plans for how things will work logistically. We determined that in the midst of unpacking, painting, cleaning and moving we may not be as diplomatic and understanding about who was supposed to be doing____ and that some forethought might be wise.

We talked about chores. Who was going to be responsible for paying bills, doing dishes, mowing the yard, cleaning bathrooms, vacuuming, cooking meals etc. This was all decided mostly by what things some of us are pickiest about. For example, Eric is a little particular about the dishes- he likes to load the dishwasher as efficiently as possible and dishes in the sink really get to him, so he volunteered to look after dishes in the evening with Tom. We divided up everything else pretty easily because we all have our pet tasks that we enjoy or dislike greatly and our dislikes and likes ended up complimenting each other pretty well.

We talked about our children. How would discipline be handled? Of course, Eric and I will continue to parent as always, but good questions were discussed. For example, Erin is in the bedroom with Elijah for some reason. Tom or Cassie is walking through the living room and sees Micah jump on an unsuspecting Isaiah for no apparent reason. Isaiah consequently gets up and grabs Micah's arm, obviously attempting to bite him. (Very plausible situation by the way unfortunately.) What should Tom or Cassie do? We decided that they could and should intervene in instances where someone has or is about to inflict bodily harm on someone else by making the kids sit in different chairs (or at least separating them) until Eric or I can get there. But all consequences for misbehavior will still be dealt with by mommy or daddy.

We talked about grocery buying. We're still a bit uncertain about this one, and definitely open for adjustments along the way, but we decided that part of the purpose of living in community is to stretch ourselves away from the "what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours" mentality. If we're all being fed well and for the same amount of money or less than what we had previously spent on our families, then does it really matter if I'm drinking milk bought with Crisp money or Fuerst money? Not really. Cassie and I will plan out evening meals in advance, and we'll buy groceries that we need for those meals plus items for lunches and breakfasts. We'll all contribute money to a community fund for groceries and pay for groceries out of that pot. To start off, we will all contribute what we've always spent on groceries monthly. If there is money left over at the end of the month or if we're short, we'll reevaluate then and decide what to do.

We made final decisions (open to revision later of course) on the uses of our space- what rooms for which people and where the guest rooms will be. We've decided on a longer-term guest room upstairs along with Eric and Erin's room and the boys' room, and a short-term guest room downstairs with Tom and Cassie's room. We also talked about making sure that no one feels like they are relegated to one area of the house and talked through our daily routines to get a feel for what others would be doing at certain points in the day and week.

I think that about sums it up. We're all getting really excited but are a bit overwhelmed too. It's hard to pack and move in the middle of a semester when the same amount of school work is still necessary. Life must go on even in the midst of moving, painting, cleaning, packing and unpacking. We'll have pictures of the new house to share soon.

Learning to Take Off the Mask

"That's great. Let us know how that goes."

"You are living my dream!"

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Um...OK"

These are all responses I have heard since we began to tell people about this little journey on which we are about to embark. We had no idea how people would react when we began to talk about living together with others in an attempt to live simply in accountable community.

There have been many who have been VERY encouraging and are looking forward to hearing how things go. Many are watching to see if it is something that would work for them. I am thankful for those who are supporting and encouraging us.

There have been others who have reacted negatively and just can't understand why we would do it. It does seem a little crazy and cramped and uncomfortable and bare and terrifying at times. I understand the concern and will just continue talking with those people about why we are doing it and giving them updates about how things are going.

I have been excited from the beginning and have had very few reservations about this decision. I had my first bout with fear a few nights ago but it didn't last long and I keep praying that God will change me in a powerful way through this experience. I have always been a "private" person and this is going to be outside of comfortable for me. I am learning in my time here in Wilmore, however, that community is not something to be feared. It does not have to be a burden when you are around those who don't need to see your "front." That mask you put on to make everyone think you have it together. Those people with whom you can be raw and honest (I'm still learning how to be raw and honest) are very refreshing and I am learning more and more how valuable those relationships are.

The time is approaching quickly (two weeks!!) and we will be launching this new period of our lives. Pray with us that God will do miraculous things through each of us to form a community of believers who are closer to Him because they are closer to each other. Let the games begin!!

The Denial of Self

One of the great doctrines of ancient Church lies in their teaching that death cannot separate the ekkelesia of God from itself. Indeed, this is one of the great doctrines of Pauline theology if we read Ephesians carefully enough. Death cannot alienate us either from the love of God or from fellowship of one another. The church, the community of Christ, is so solidified, so fused together, and so intertwined that the feeble attempts of our “final enemy” to rupture our bonds of faith are fated to failure.

Oh, but what death could not accomplish American individualism has achieved. The same church Paul commands to be “united in Spirit” and “contending as one soul for the faith of the gospel” has been torn asunder like the pitied girl whose corpse was cut in 12 chunks and mailed to each of Israel’s most powerful mob families. Individualism’s insipid doctrine of self-autonomy and self-betterment have all but made the church a privatized social club calling for no accountability and possessing no prophetic voice. And when you have a group of self-oriented people attempting to do life together, factions and schism are inevitable – it’s like sticking a bunch of 2 year olds in a sandbox together; it’s not going to be long before it becomes a human litter box despite the protests of those who know better.

From where does this individualism emerge? Surely not form within the biblical text with its persistent call for communal unity. And surely not from church tradition which stresses that there is no salvation apart from the church community – that is, one cannot claim to be a Christian and not participate in the redeemed community.

But it would be too premature a jump for me to say that it arises out of some secular-liberal agenda clandestinely subverting the church and its "Christian" culture. In fact, this would be the easy answer wouldn’t it? After all, aren’t those “leftists” to blame for all our problems? It certainly couldn’t be that we’ve swallowed our own red pill, could it?

Sociologist Max Weber actually traces American individualism back to….wait for it….Protestantism (specifically it’s early American Puritan version). In The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism ,Weber argues that the Calvinistic theology of early American Protestantism focused largely on individual election and the signs thereof. That "God has predestined me, personally, to eternal salvation is manifested in the fact that he has prospered me with material gain” was the thought of the hour, and has stayed around long after Puritanism died under the weight of its own self-righteousness.

For me, this assumption is largely what our little community will challenge. I want my materialistic, self-focused Christianity to be tossed out the window like a bad grade card on the bus ride home from school. I want to proceed from avarice to abnegation and learn to think of others more highly than I do myself. I want to learn to blame myself first for community conflict instead of assuming others are always asinine. I want to purge the materialistic, privatized, self-absorbed religiosity from my soul, that somehow I might know Christ and the power of his resurrection in a more meaningful way. I want to confront and be confronted with sin. I want to lay my soul bare before others so that there remains no crevice left for falsehood to fester.

Dear God, I must be insane…

The House

A picture of the front!